elephantrock

www.cdbaby.com/sierradawn <-----Look! CDs by me! o0o0o
www.myspace.com/sierradawnmusi… <--- Look! MySpace


"When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer. Let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. There will be an answer, let it be. And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be. I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be."



I have a baby!!! Yay! He's almost 3 months old now (hah took me awhile to get around to this), and he's beautiful. Asher Cailen, born Wednesday, July 30, 2008, at 11:00 am. 6 lbs 14 0z, 20 in. Of course, now he's about 13 lbs and 24 in. Hehe what a chubbers. Life is good. We're tired, but good. I love him more than I knew I could.

I also have a new niece, Eden Constance, born August 4, 2008, 6 lbs 6 oz, 19 in. She's around 8.5 lbs now. She's a bit smaller but adorable and looks just like my brother

Times are good. Peace.

www.cdbaby.com/sierradawn <-----Look! CDs by me! o0o0o
www.myspace.com/sierradawnmusi… <--- Look! MySpace


"I can't get to sleep. I think about the implications of diving in too deep, and possibly the complications. Especially at night; I worry over situations. I know I'll be alright, perhaps it's just imagination. Day after day it reappears, night after night my heartbeat shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away. Alone between the sheets, only brings exasperation. It's time to walk the streets, smell the desperation. At least there's pretty lights, and though there's little variation, it nullifies the night from overkill. Day after day it reappears, night after night my heartbeat shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away. Come back another day. I can't get to sleep. I think about the implications of diving in too deep, and possibly the complications. Especially at night, I worry over situations that I, I know will be alright, it's just overkill. Day after day it reappears, night after night my heartbeat shows the fear. Ghosts appear and fade away. Ghosts appear and fade away. Ghosts appear and fade away."

"Overkill" by Colin Hay



I have about two and a half weeks to my due date, so I could pretty much pop any day now. I'm super excited and anxious, and really uncomfortable. My ribs are constantly being stabbed by cute little feet of death (heh) and I can hardly breathe sometimes, to the point of being lightheaded. I'm dilated to a 1, which frankly, isn't much. I just want him to be out here where I can hear him cry and lose lots of sleep and change his diapers and stuff. Haha I sound insane but I'm just going nuts and I don't want to feel so physically disabled anymore. I just wanna lay on my stomach and breathe, ya know? And it's drivin me nuts feeling him move so much and not being able to interact with him. GAH.

Soon enough.

www.cdbaby.com/sierradawn <-----Look! CDs by me! o0o0o
www.myspace.com/sierradawnmusi… <--- Look! MySpace



"My window pane was leaking glass, I cut my arm and then you laughed. I jumped from just one story high, and now I'm stuck here till I die. Now I'm stuck here till I die, now I'm stuck here till I die. Don't you remember me? I swear I knew you when I knew you there. We loved and learned under the sun, we had more fun than anyone. She's 8 years old and moving out, she's half way across the country now. She's smarter than the lot of us, she doesn't break or bend or fuss. Maybe she's in Heaven now, or maybe she's back here somehow. She's wearing all the finest clothes, and draped in jewelry head to toe. It isn't possible to kno, there is no ending to the show. The grand finale, big hurrah. One day we're here, the next we're not. Oh, look what I've done here. Oh, look what I've done here. Let these thoughts creep in, let them seep right in. Let these thoughts creep in, let them seep right in. I hope she doesn't have to see what became of her family. Her father left after she died, her brothers cried and cried and cried. She took your man, I took your name. The miracle that never came. But oh, her life was beautiful. She'll live through me and live through you. I used to sing you lullabies, I'd hold you when you'd start to cry. I was your mother and your friend, don't you remember me from then? I was your mother and your friend, don't you remember me from then?"

"The Miracle That Never Came" by Straylight Run


Hum hum hum.... I figured it was maybe time for an update.

I'm about 7 months along now... things seem to be going pretty well. Trev and I are renting a house, which is going fine. I'm a little stressed out with alll these new bills and stuff that just keeps popping up and it's just a little bit hard this month. I'm just glad we're not falling behind so much as just having to take from our savings. My mom is frustrating the crap out of me sometimes with all her control issues and whatnot, but she'll have to deal with not having any control for awhile. She just doesn't seem to want to respect that this is not her baby, it's mine, and she can't just let me make a decision based on what I think is best, whether she agrees with it or not. But at the same time she's been really helpful and supportive and I'm glad to have her around. It's hard to find a balance between the two.

All we really need right now is for Trev to get a better job, and then things will ease up a lot. I'm going to be leaving Wendy's here in about 2 months, and then it'll all be on him until I go back to work for my parents in Ipswich. I'm just gonna have faith and believe that we can do this.

I am so excited for this boy to be born, it's unreal. 3 months to go.

www.cdbaby.com/sierradawn <-----Look! CDs by me! o0o0o
www.myspace.com/sierradawnmusi… <--- Look! MySpace

"Daddy, please hear this song that I sing. In your heart, there's a spark that just screams for a lover to bring a child to your chest, that would lay as you sleep, and love all you have left, like your boy used to be long ago, wrapped in sheets warm and wet. Blister, please, with those wings in your spine. Love to be with a brother of mine, how he'd love to find your tongue in his teeth in a struggle to find secret songs that you keep wrapped in boxes so tight, sounding only at night as you sleep. And in my dreams, you're alive and you're cryin, as your mouth moves in mine, soft and sweet. Rings of flowers round your eyes, and I love you for the rest of your life, in a wreath. Brother, see, we are one in the same. And you left with your head filled with flames and you watched as your brains fell out through your teeth, pushed the pieces in place, make your smile sweet to see, don't you take this away; I'm still wanting my face on your cheek. And when we break, we'll wait for our miracle. God is a place where some holy spectacle lies. When we break, we'll wait for our miracle. God is a place you will wait for the rest of your life. Two-headed boy, she is all you could need. She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires, and retire to sheets, safe and clean. But don't hate her when she gets up to leave."

"Two-Headed Boy Pt. II", by Neutral Milk Hotel




So holy shit. It's only been a few months but a lot more has happened than you would've thought. I'm having a baby, dude. We're having a baby, me and Trev. We're getting married next year. I'm due the 1st of August. Ashley is due this week or the next. My brother is getting married and having a kid of his own. I just got over a 3-day headache and I feel nauseous 40% of the time I'm awake. We get to hear the heartbeat on the 17th. I am at a creative standstill and have been for several months. Can't write, paint, draw, play anything new, or even think creatively. I gotta get outta this spell or I'll drive myself crazy. Sundays are the worst for me because the coffee house is closed and I sit by myself for like  8 hours cause there's nothing to do on a Sunday in this town. I can't sleep in past 11, which adds to the crappiness of a Sunday because that's two extra hours for me to be bored out of my mind. Woohoo.

I didn't sound very happy up there^ about the baby thing, well think again. I'm just bored and annoyed right now, but it's really what I wanted. It's what I've wanted for years now, and I was blessed with it, and now I'm just waiting. The first few months suck because you can't really tell and you just feel like shit a lot. I just gotta wait it out I guess. I'm actually doing better than a lot of other girls so it's fine. I feel yet another headache coming on, probably because I'm hungry and I've been staring at this computer for a long time.

In general, I consider myself a happy person. Just not at this particular second in time. So poo on this, I'm gonna go make myself some grub.

www.cdbaby.com/sierradawn <-----Look! CDs by me! o0o0o
www.myspace.com/sierradawnmusi… <--- Look! MySpace
www.purevolume.com/sierradawnb… <--- Look! PureVolume!

"In a sweater poorly knit, in an unsuspecting smile, little Moses drifts downstream in the Nile. A fumbling reply, an akward, rigid laugh, and I'm carried helpless by my floating basket raft. Your flavor in my mind is back and forth between sweeter than any wine and as bitter as mustard greens, and it's light and dark as honeydew and pumpernickle bread; the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead. Go plow some other field and try to forget my name, you'll see what harvest yields and supposing I do the same. I planted rows of peas about the first week of July, they should've come up to my knees, but they were maybe ankle-high. Take your fingers from your flutes to weave your colored yarns, and boil down your fruits to preserves in mason jars. And the books are overdue, and the goats are underfed; the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead. You're a door without a key, a field without a fence, you made a Holy fool of me and I've thanked you ever since. If she comes circling back, we'll end where we begun, like two pennies on the train tracks, the train crushed into one. If I'm a crown without a king, if I'm a broken open seed, if I come without a thing, I come with all I need. No boat out of the blue, no place to rest your head; the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead. I do not exist; only you exist. I do not exist."

-"Sweater Poorly Knit" by MeWithoutYou



It's been awhile, eh? Almost a year. That's just wrong. I've been doing a lot, I suppose. Graduated high school, moved out of the parents' house, and living with Kristina and Trevor in an apartment by NSU. Going there for english and art next semester. Ashley smashley is married and preggers- due at the end of January. Lauren and Leslie had their baby a few weeks ago, a girl named Elijah (pronounced el-ee-yah) Kay. She's gorgeous, of course. Umm I'm bored with this now. Goodbye.